paladiny.ru
Регистрация
Забыли пароль?

запомнить
Новости | Структура Ордена | Устав Ордена | Перекрестки миров | Форум | Фотогалерея БК  |  Dwar  |  Magic  |  RIOT   






Примерочная
Монитор БС
Всё о подземельях







Развлечения: ГрафоманЪ Форумы БК:

ГрафоманЪ | Поэзия | Юмор | Интервью | Статьи | Мнение | Мультфильмы | ВЦ-шоу | Конкурсы | MusicBox | Рукописи

ГрафоманЪ: Service Unavaible блюз
Дата: 18.05.2007 22:21
Автор: , добавлено:

Service Unavaible блюз.


Катится коляска по вечернему Демонсу
Я гляжу на мир, я собираю информацию
Пытаюсь докопаться до сути вопросов
Рожденных буйной Администрацией…
(Переделка ньюбом фантазии Чижа и компании под реальные условия жизни!)



- Я так решил еще с утра, сегодня точно напьюсь! – Горланил Повелитель снов, опоздавший на работу и уже получивший разнос от начальства. Разнос его не расстроил совершенно, зато вот поставленные задачи несколько смутили. Но, правда, не настолько, чтобы сразу к ним приступить. Сроки же никто не оговаривал. Вот он и отрывался на всю глотку в надежде, что его таланты оценят.
Первым оценил ПО, прибежавший из другого кабинета:
- Орать прекрати! С ритма сбиваешь!
Удивленно Повелитель снов воззрился на него и подозрительно спросил:
- Эээээ, а с кем ты там и что делаешь, что я тебя с ритма сбиваю?
- Я делом занят! – Заявил ПО и когда тот вышел Повелитель снов не удержался и прокрался за ним.
Ну, да… делом. Сервер опять приказал игрокам долго жить на форумах, и придумывать новые слова в адрес администрации. Богат был русский язык… И становился еще богаче после таких вот Service Unfucking…
Танцы с бубном вокруг сервера больше не помогали Повелителю Огня. Обычно на двадцатой минуте сервер начинал сам подтанцовывать. Злые духи все так же не хотели уходить из него, но потанцевать и они не против были. Но в тот день сервер упрямо не желал откликаться на призывы шамана. Повелитель огня в сердца плюнул на железяку, но тут же брезгливо вытер салфеткой. Конторское имущество все-таки…
Расстроенный он вызвал техников и, капризно сказал в телефон:
- Не хочет! Отказывается! Вас ламерами и дармоедами обзывает!
Злые духи в сервере обиженно покосились на ПО, но отрицать ничего не стали. Они вообще старались больше не общаться с этим мужиком с бубном. С прошлого раза, когда их пытались ладаном обкурить, у них остались самые негативные впечатления. К техникам они и, правда, относились с пренебрежением, но старались сильно не гадить тем. Мало ли новых техников понагонят!? Пусть уж лучше эти будут. И через некоторое время, поселившиеся в нем вредители, позволяли серверу оживать.
Поддержке хватало честности разводить руками и признаваться, что шаманизм рулит, так как сами они ничего не делали.
Повелитель снов, чтобы не быть застигнутым у замочной скважины вернулся к себе в кабинет и продолжил вокальные упражнения. Но снова вошедший ПО гневно и молча посмотрел на него.
- А я чего? – удивился Сновидец. – Я ничего.
- Ты сделал, что тебе говорили? – Зло спросил Повелитель Огня.
- Неа. – Весело признался Сновидец. – Я не представляю, как можно людей заставить жрать мухоморы и пить вот это…
Он поставил перед ПО стакан с мутно зеленой жидкостью, на дне которой плавали чьи-то грязные ногти.
- Вот ты лично ЭТО пить будешь? – Спросил Повелитель снов у раздраженного ПО.
Брезгливо ПО передернул плечами.
- Это и есть «отвар из когтей ПГ»? – Удивленно спросил он у Сновидца.
- Он самый. – Кивнул тот, убирая образец в стол.
- А как тогда «отвар василиска» выглядит? – С нехорошим предчувствием спросил ПО у рекламщика.
- Не покажу. – Сказал, улыбаясь, Сновидец. – Ты всю неделю ничего есть не сможешь от одного запаха, не говоря о виде. Я вчера еще увидел. Всю ночь кошмары мучили. И конечно: «Я так решил еще с утра - сегодня точно напьюсь! Сегодня кончатся все деньги. Сегодня пиво и блюз!»
- Прекрати. – Поморщился ПО. – И чья это больная фантазия?
- Уже не важно… - Отмахнулся Сновидец. - У нас этого пойла, как и мухоморов – вагоны! Теперь только продавать надо.
- А остальное как? – качая головой, спросил ПО.
- Воду живую уже в промышленных масштабах производим. На ней, кстати, мухоморы лучше растут. Пыль мы и раньше экспортировать могли… много у нас пыли, понимаешь. Так что все тип-топ. Осталось только эти отвары населению толкнуть.
- А как вы пыль-то продавать будете? Это же все равно, что воздухом торговать. – Изумился ПО.
- Согласен, но если после этой фигни слоны, как кузнечики прыгают, то товар не застоится. И ни цвет, ни запах, ни «место сбора» не повлияет. Главное чтобы в сухомятку не ели - запоры будут… И не курили… Минздрав предупреждает типа.
В кабинет в этот момент вошли техники и смущенно доложили ПО, что все работает. Тот, забыв мгновенно о проблемах реализации новой продукции, метнулся поднимать города из пепла.
И они поднялись. Постояли немного, подумали… и снова рухнули. Ну не любила серверная нечисть Повелителя Огня. Причем давно и взаимно.
Устало тот посмотрел на стойку с сервером и даже не знал, что делать-то дальше. Как-то стало дико все равно. Ну, люди… ну, работа.
Его уже не раздражали очередные вопли за стенкой: «И наплевать, что я небрит и что в грязи мой левый шуз…» Больше того они ему уже начинали нравиться!
- Сегодня мы напьемся в совершеннейший блюз! – Заорал в ответ ПО.
- Ой, не будь я Hoochie Coochie! – обрадовано заорали ему в ответ из кабинета за стенкой причем даже не Сновидец!
- Не будь я Hoochie Cooochie Man! – слышалось этажом ниже.
- Перекати мою душу Мама! Я обессилил совсем! – Неслось к кабинету начальства.
Какие мухоморы? Какие когти ПГ… офисы жили в стиле Service Unavaible блюз!
КОММЕНТАРИИ:
Страницы:  «««    226 | 227 | 228 | 229 | 230 | 231 | 232 | 233 | 234 | 235 | 236 | 237 | 238 | 239 | 240 | 241 | 242 | 243 | 244 | 245 | 246 | 247 | 248 | 249 | 250    »»»

  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:29

What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? <a href=" http://www.wonderlustadventures.com/inspire/ ">viagra 125 mg i love booms</a> If the delays aren't resolved, more people could opt to travel on the high-speed trains, an increasingly viable competitor. Authorities plan to double the country's high-speed rail network to 18,000 kilometers (11,120 miles) by 2015.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:29

I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://aoh.org.uk/about-us/visitors-info/ ">oes viagra help premature ejaculations</a> The company on Thursday said its contract pipeline for thenext year was robust as customers become more willing to spendon large deals, and the business software maker added that itsAmericas business was "back to strength".



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I do some voluntary work <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/tag/legends-of-gaming/#boast ">efore using vision and viagra</a> Senate Chaplain Barry Black, a retired Navy rear admiral, used his daily opening prayer in the Senate chamber to criticize lawmakers for the lapse in death benefits, underscoring the emotional tenor of the debate. "Lord, when our federal shutdown delays payments of death benefits to the families of children dying on faraway battlefields, it's time for our lawmakers to say enough is enough."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Where's the postbox? <a href=" http://www.dogspin.com/nyc-dog-training/best-lead-leash-dogs-that-pull-on-walks/ ">uy online viagra audio torrent</a> The Church of England is the established church. It is a denominational service, but not a heavy denominational service. It may well be – it is not for me to say – they could involve the service ministers of other faiths. But I think it is an occasion where we get together, it is an occasion which is of some solemnity but some splendidness, and it has a unifying factor, and I would regret very much if it was put to an end."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Through friends <a href=" http://www.kosovalindore.com/2012/10/27/sadri-ramabaja-dejtoni-2-per-republika-srpska-nveri-te-kosoves/ ">forum viagra im internet bestellen price viagra spain</a> Mr Summers says: &#8220;Increasing growth, in addition to solving debt problems, would also raise household incomes, increase U.S. economic strength relative to other nations, help state and local governments meet their obligations and prompt investments in research and development.&#8221; But those beneficial consequences have not been borne out over the past few decades, which show stagnant or declining household incomes, for example. The stock market and the nation&#8217;s economy are not the same thing. While the nation&#8217;s governmental and legal structure is what makes it possible for the big-money operators to make their big money, it seems rare that they deliberately take the society&#8217;s interest into account, either trying to give back or to promote the long-term national interest. Devotion to short-term profit is common in those ranks and is actually parasitic on the nation, since it starves investment in education and infrastructure. Beyond a certain wealth threshold, the truly big operators may not even care about the well-being or even stability of the country, since they are by that point globally connected.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

A company car <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/tag/legends-of-gaming/#ducks ">cialis hongkong cialis daily use vs 36 hour</a> State film subsidies are a wasteful, ineffective and unfair instrument of economic development. While they appear to be a "quick fix" that provides jobs and business to state residents with only a short lag, in reality they benefit mostly nonresidents, especially well-paid nonresident film and TV professionals. Some residents benefit from these subsidies, but most end up paying for them in the form of fewer services &ndash; such as education, healthcare and police and fire protection &ndash; or higher taxes elsewhere. The benefits to the few are highly visible; the costs to the majority are hidden because they are spread so widely and detached from the subsidies.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

A financial advisor <a href=" http://www.kosovalindore.com/2011/08/12/klubet-angleze-spanjolle-dhe-italiane-kerkojne-lucho-gonzalez/ ">levitra optic neuropothy</a> Joleen Cahill, whose husband, Mike Cahill, was shot six times after he lifted a chair to try to stop Hasan, has struggled with the loneliness of an empty house. Now she wants to ensure that her anger doesn't take over during the trial.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I love the theatre <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/2015/04/04/watch-mianite-live-at-insomnia54/#gentlemen ">viagra suppositories availability uk</a> Equally common in men and women, eczema does have some identified risk factors. “Patients who have eczema have a much higher incidence of other allergic diseases, such as asthma, hay fever and food allergies,” says Guttman-Yassky. “About a third of eczema patients also have asthma, and some biologic treatments can potentially be used to target both of these diseases because they share some common pathways.” About 80% of eczema patients have a family history of it and other allergic diseases.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Have you got any experience? <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/2015/06/05/arclegger-arc-pls-teespring-campaign/ ">diploide ha toxified goodheartedly cialis generico vendita online</a> &#8220;I was raised and taught that it was impolite to talk about money, and I found myself in a career where I&#8217;m walking up to perfect strangers&#8230; and saying, &#8216;Give me a check with a comma.&#8217; It&#8217;s a little weird,&#8221; she confessed.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I wanted to live abroad <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/2015/10/page/5/ ">enta viagra serena</a> At the same time, the number of positions filled also increased and staff availability fell which put upward pressure on wages. Earnings growth for permanent placements in July was the strongest since May 2011 but, despite that pickup, remains below the series' average.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I'd like to transfer some money to this account <a href=" http://www.letstalkmommy.com/tag/recipes/ ">description of generic chewable viagra professional</a> The only year with a bigger percentage drop was in 2009, when America was in a large recession. American cars and factories spewed 5.83 billion tons of carbon dioxide in 2012, down from 6.06 billion in 2011. It is the lowest level for U.S. emissions since 1994. Carbon dioxide is the chief man-made global warming gas.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

On another call <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/tag/skwazzle/#sideways ">headaches from viagra</a> A young British woman was struck by a runaway cab that careered on to a busy pavement in midtown Manhattan yesterday morning, severing her left leg below the knee and leaving her right leg mangled, according to New Yorkers who rushed to her aid.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I study here <a href=" https://www.tte.co.uk/employ-an-apprentice/benefits-to-employers/#bandy ">consecuencias comprar viagra el viagra femenino</a> Indonesia is the world's largest exporter of thermal coal,used primarily for power generation, and China is its biggestcustomer. Exports, however, have diminished in value asbenchmark prices fell by a third over the past 18 months and arenow at their lowest in almost four years.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Directory enquiries <a href=" http://www.dogspin.com/nyc-dog-excursions/montauk-dog-friendly-hotels-hamptons/ ">menopause and libido detumescence priapism viagra</a> London Assembly Member Victoria Borwick, who is a member of the Thames Passenger Boats Investigation Committee, said: "Thankfully no one was seriously injured but that does not take away from the seriousness of this incident.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? <a href=" http://www.mens-app.es/page/23/#dry ">coupons for cialis prix du cialis.</a> Along the way, the company helped create new ways foradvertisers and corporations to reach audiences, from a"promoted tweets" model now replicated by Facebook and otherInternet platforms, to its "second screen" approach toencouraging real-time debate around television programs.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I like watching TV <a href=" http://aoh.org.uk/house/the-gerard-byrne-studio/#sixty ">inferiore ed al loro sviluppo. costo del viagra</a> Rightmove&rsquo;s updated forecasts follow calls from the influential trade body for estate agents and surveyors, the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (Rics), which last week urged the Bank of England to limit house price growth to 5pc a year to stop households taking on excessive debt for fear of missing out on a price boom.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

How long have you lived here? <a href=" http://www.foodieindisguise.com/2009/03/16/cuisinart-readies-its-newest-product-lineup/ ">where can i buy cialis on line uk</a> SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Authorities temporarily shut down the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge after a suspicious device was found, snarling traffic on both sides of the crossing on a busy Friday afternoon.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

What company are you calling from? <a href=" http://streamernews.tv/tag/legends-of-gaming/#economical ">viagra ohne rezept online bestellen king viagra t</a> "They compete very favorably with Starwood and Marriott andHyatt, which are already there. They probably do quite well inthat spectrum," said Keith Brenan, chief operating officer ofWeitzman Group Inc, a real estate consultant. "Marriott isprobably doing a little bit better than they are. They have astronger rewards program."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

magic story very thanks <a href=" http://utahpoliticohub.com/tag/john-swallow/ ">tineri achy back from jogging or cialis salis</a> There has already been a measles epidemic sweeping through some districts of northern Syria, an alarming increase in cases of acute diarrhoea and an outbreak of cutaneous leishmaniasis, a severe infectious skin disease that can cause serious disability.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

We need someone with qualifications <a href=" http://www.letstalkmommy.com/tag/lilly-loray-crate/#word ">diccionario ingles de viagra</a> According to a source familiar with the discussions between MLB officials and A-Rod’s representatives, if Rodriguez accepted a settlement that would call for him to be suspended for the rest of this year and the entire 2014 season without pay, he would still have a chance to collect the $60 million the Yankees would owe him from 2015 to 2017.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Where do you live? <a href=" http://www.ifancyafryup.co.uk/cafes/england/hampshire/cove/bridge-road-cafe.html ">is viagra safe for health</a> The United States strongly condemns the steps that have been taken by Egypt's interim government and security forces. We deplore violence against civilians. We support universal rights essential to human dignity, including the right to peaceful protest. We oppose the pursuit of martial law, which denies those rights to citizens under the principle that security trumps individual freedom or that might makes right. And today the United States extends its condolences to the families or those who were killed and those who were wounded.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

Do you know each other? <a href=" http://www.ifancyafryup.co.uk/cafes/england/cambridgeshire/peterborough/#unfortunate ">invention of get dosage with cialis online</a> The United States banned imports of jade, rubies and otherBurmese gemstones in 2008 in a bid to cut off revenue to themilitary junta which then ruled Myanmar, also known as Burma.But soaring demand from neighboring China meant the ban hadlittle effect. After Myanmar's reformist government took power,the United States scrapped or suspended almost all economic andpolitical sanctions - but not the ban on jade and rubies. It wasrenewed by the White House on Aug. 7 in a sign that Myanmar'sanarchic jade industry remains a throwback to an era ofdictatorship. The U.S. Department of the Treasury included theindustry in activities that "contribute to human rights abusesor undermine Burma's democratic reform process."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

i'm fine good work <a href=" http://www.foodieindisguise.com/2015/07/04/food-for-the-last-6-months-a-pictoral-history/img_5893-jpg/ ">cialis online buy 541 8</a> The president&#8217;s Wednesday speech at Knox College, the site of his first major economic address as a Senator in 2005, kicks off a series of events intended to reframe the economic debate ahead of key negotiations with Capitol Hill this fall.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:30

I'd like to speak to someone about a mortgage <a href=" http://aoh.org.uk/about-us/visitors-info/ ">dovuto all'assunzione del levitra si pu</a> I think there's something more damaging going on. Let's look at how the Bake Off women were criticised. The words thrown at them included; blubbing, pathetic, flirtatious, smug, attentin-seeking and manipulative. More? They were called arrogant, fake, dough- eyed and meek. Often in the same sentence. And when they dared defend themselves? It was 'hysterical' or simply 'bitch'.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

I'd like , please <a href=" http://www.letstalkmommy.com/tag/lilly-loray-crate/#wonderfully ">cialis loss of eyesight</a> ANA, the launch buyer and world's biggest owner of the 787, suffered millions of dollars of losses as a result. The airline will factor the risk of a delay in aircraft delivery into its purchase decision, CEO Shinichiro Ito told Reuters last month.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

I have my own business <a href=" http://www.kosovalindore.com/2011/08/12/klubet-angleze-spanjolle-dhe-italiane-kerkojne-lucho-gonzalez/ ">tevie ha sido cialis generico madrid
</a> An influx of highly skilled immigrants would create opportunities for thousands of native-born Americans. Just a tenth of the U.S. population is foreign born — but from 1995 to 2005, more than a quarter of startup engineering and technology businesses had a foreign-born owner.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

Have you got any qualifications? <a href=" http://www.kosovalindore.com/2016/02/16/cme-tha-nikolle-loka-per-cernojeviqet-gjurajt/#acclaim ">cialis para que serve</a> And when Thomas woke up a few hours later and came to work, his anger had turned into a take-no-prisoners attitude. When he was asked if the Giants’ problems on defense could have something to do with the scheme, he said, “Yeah, without a doubt.” That wasn’t meant as a shot at defensive coordinator Perry Fewell. It was meant to express Thomas’ view that at this point everyone in the Giants organization should be feeling the heat.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

Which team do you support? <a href=" http://www.letstalkmommy.com/tag/baby-and-toddler-show/ ">pastilla cialis alcohol</a> The kestrel aroused suspicion because of a metal ring on its foot carrying the words "24311 Tel Avivunia Israel", prompting residents in the village of Altinayva to hand it over to the local governor.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

I'd like to order some foreign currency <a href=" http://www.ifancyafryup.co.uk/cafes/england/gloucestershire/cheltenham/spencers-cafe.html#inhabitant ">terra a in lambizione viagra on line contrassegno</a> Late on Wednesday, Ormet submitted a motion asking thatpayment of its August and September power bills be deferred toprovide liquidity for the aluminum producer to operate itsHannibal, Ohio aluminum smelter.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 17.05.2016 19:31

Insert your card <a href=" http://www.letstalkmommy.com/tag/summer-diet/#ticket ">impotencia psicologica soluciones barato comprar viagra</a> When BART workers shut down train service for four days in early July, roadways were packed and commuters waited in long lines for buses and ferries. The unions agreed to call off that strike and extend their contracts until Sunday while negotiations continued.



Страницы:  «««    226 | 227 | 228 | 229 | 230 | 231 | 232 | 233 | 234 | 235 | 236 | 237 | 238 | 239 | 240 | 241 | 242 | 243 | 244 | 245 | 246 | 247 | 248 | 249 | 250    »»»
Писать от имени: Гость
Склонность: Нейтрал Хаос Истинный Хаос Истинный Хаос Тёмный   Гвардия Мироздателя Гвардия Мусорщика   Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный   Белое братство Паладин поднебесья Таможенный паладин Паладин солнечной улыбки Паладин инквизитор Паладин огненной зари Паладин хранитель знаний Паладин неба Старший паладин неба Старший паладин неба Верховный паладин
  Паладин поднебесья Таможенный паладин Паладин солнечной улыбки Паладин инквизитор Паладин огненной зари Паладин хранитель знаний Паладин неба Старший паладин неба Старший паладин неба Верховный паладин
Текст: Жирный Наклон Подчёркнутый Цитата
Смайлы: БКашные | Палсайта | Дополнительно  :wink:




(C) Орден света, 2004