paladiny.ru
Регистрация
Забыли пароль?

запомнить
Новости | Структура Ордена | Устав Ордена | Перекрестки миров | Форум | Фотогалерея БК  |  Dwar  |  Magic  |  RIOT   






Примерочная
Монитор БС
Всё о подземельях







Развлечения: ГрафоманЪ Форумы БК:

ГрафоманЪ | Поэзия | Юмор | Интервью | Статьи | Мнение | Мультфильмы | ВЦ-шоу | Конкурсы | MusicBox | Рукописи

ГрафоманЪ: Service Unavaible блюз
Дата: 18.05.2007 22:21
Автор: , добавлено:

Service Unavaible блюз.


Катится коляска по вечернему Демонсу
Я гляжу на мир, я собираю информацию
Пытаюсь докопаться до сути вопросов
Рожденных буйной Администрацией…
(Переделка ньюбом фантазии Чижа и компании под реальные условия жизни!)



- Я так решил еще с утра, сегодня точно напьюсь! – Горланил Повелитель снов, опоздавший на работу и уже получивший разнос от начальства. Разнос его не расстроил совершенно, зато вот поставленные задачи несколько смутили. Но, правда, не настолько, чтобы сразу к ним приступить. Сроки же никто не оговаривал. Вот он и отрывался на всю глотку в надежде, что его таланты оценят.
Первым оценил ПО, прибежавший из другого кабинета:
- Орать прекрати! С ритма сбиваешь!
Удивленно Повелитель снов воззрился на него и подозрительно спросил:
- Эээээ, а с кем ты там и что делаешь, что я тебя с ритма сбиваю?
- Я делом занят! – Заявил ПО и когда тот вышел Повелитель снов не удержался и прокрался за ним.
Ну, да… делом. Сервер опять приказал игрокам долго жить на форумах, и придумывать новые слова в адрес администрации. Богат был русский язык… И становился еще богаче после таких вот Service Unfucking…
Танцы с бубном вокруг сервера больше не помогали Повелителю Огня. Обычно на двадцатой минуте сервер начинал сам подтанцовывать. Злые духи все так же не хотели уходить из него, но потанцевать и они не против были. Но в тот день сервер упрямо не желал откликаться на призывы шамана. Повелитель огня в сердца плюнул на железяку, но тут же брезгливо вытер салфеткой. Конторское имущество все-таки…
Расстроенный он вызвал техников и, капризно сказал в телефон:
- Не хочет! Отказывается! Вас ламерами и дармоедами обзывает!
Злые духи в сервере обиженно покосились на ПО, но отрицать ничего не стали. Они вообще старались больше не общаться с этим мужиком с бубном. С прошлого раза, когда их пытались ладаном обкурить, у них остались самые негативные впечатления. К техникам они и, правда, относились с пренебрежением, но старались сильно не гадить тем. Мало ли новых техников понагонят!? Пусть уж лучше эти будут. И через некоторое время, поселившиеся в нем вредители, позволяли серверу оживать.
Поддержке хватало честности разводить руками и признаваться, что шаманизм рулит, так как сами они ничего не делали.
Повелитель снов, чтобы не быть застигнутым у замочной скважины вернулся к себе в кабинет и продолжил вокальные упражнения. Но снова вошедший ПО гневно и молча посмотрел на него.
- А я чего? – удивился Сновидец. – Я ничего.
- Ты сделал, что тебе говорили? – Зло спросил Повелитель Огня.
- Неа. – Весело признался Сновидец. – Я не представляю, как можно людей заставить жрать мухоморы и пить вот это…
Он поставил перед ПО стакан с мутно зеленой жидкостью, на дне которой плавали чьи-то грязные ногти.
- Вот ты лично ЭТО пить будешь? – Спросил Повелитель снов у раздраженного ПО.
Брезгливо ПО передернул плечами.
- Это и есть «отвар из когтей ПГ»? – Удивленно спросил он у Сновидца.
- Он самый. – Кивнул тот, убирая образец в стол.
- А как тогда «отвар василиска» выглядит? – С нехорошим предчувствием спросил ПО у рекламщика.
- Не покажу. – Сказал, улыбаясь, Сновидец. – Ты всю неделю ничего есть не сможешь от одного запаха, не говоря о виде. Я вчера еще увидел. Всю ночь кошмары мучили. И конечно: «Я так решил еще с утра - сегодня точно напьюсь! Сегодня кончатся все деньги. Сегодня пиво и блюз!»
- Прекрати. – Поморщился ПО. – И чья это больная фантазия?
- Уже не важно… - Отмахнулся Сновидец. - У нас этого пойла, как и мухоморов – вагоны! Теперь только продавать надо.
- А остальное как? – качая головой, спросил ПО.
- Воду живую уже в промышленных масштабах производим. На ней, кстати, мухоморы лучше растут. Пыль мы и раньше экспортировать могли… много у нас пыли, понимаешь. Так что все тип-топ. Осталось только эти отвары населению толкнуть.
- А как вы пыль-то продавать будете? Это же все равно, что воздухом торговать. – Изумился ПО.
- Согласен, но если после этой фигни слоны, как кузнечики прыгают, то товар не застоится. И ни цвет, ни запах, ни «место сбора» не повлияет. Главное чтобы в сухомятку не ели - запоры будут… И не курили… Минздрав предупреждает типа.
В кабинет в этот момент вошли техники и смущенно доложили ПО, что все работает. Тот, забыв мгновенно о проблемах реализации новой продукции, метнулся поднимать города из пепла.
И они поднялись. Постояли немного, подумали… и снова рухнули. Ну не любила серверная нечисть Повелителя Огня. Причем давно и взаимно.
Устало тот посмотрел на стойку с сервером и даже не знал, что делать-то дальше. Как-то стало дико все равно. Ну, люди… ну, работа.
Его уже не раздражали очередные вопли за стенкой: «И наплевать, что я небрит и что в грязи мой левый шуз…» Больше того они ему уже начинали нравиться!
- Сегодня мы напьемся в совершеннейший блюз! – Заорал в ответ ПО.
- Ой, не будь я Hoochie Coochie! – обрадовано заорали ему в ответ из кабинета за стенкой причем даже не Сновидец!
- Не будь я Hoochie Cooochie Man! – слышалось этажом ниже.
- Перекати мою душу Мама! Я обессилил совсем! – Неслось к кабинету начальства.
Какие мухоморы? Какие когти ПГ… офисы жили в стиле Service Unavaible блюз!
КОММЕНТАРИИ:
Страницы:  «««    126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145 | 146 | 147 | 148 | 149 | 150    »»»

  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

History <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/writing-a-letter-of-recommendation-for-a-student-for-college.pdf#ebb ">essay on my favorite movie twilight</a> Macau Legend has enough money to start the casinodevelopment without needing to raise more until next year, saidSheldon Trainor, the company's executive director. It wouldlikely seek debt financing rather than issuing new shares, hesaid.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

I'm doing an internship <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/writing-a-letter-of-recommendation-for-a-student-for-college.pdf#occupied ">what should i write for my cause and effect essay</a> "The argument that no nuclear power dents the economy would be myopic, considering that if by mistake we had another tragedy like Fukushima, Japan would suffer from further collateral damage and lose global trust," said Tetsunari Iida, head of the Institute for Sustainable Energy Policies, and a renewable energy expert.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

Pleased to meet you <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?incident-report-writing ">my best childhood memory essay</a> &ldquo;If we do not have children, people assume we are &ldquo;frustrated&rdquo;. If we stay at home taking care of our children, it is said we are &ldquo;not working&rdquo;. If we have a job, we are portrayed as just &ldquo;part-time mums&rdquo;, and sometimes even as bad parents,&rdquo; she said.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

What qualifications have you got? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?anti-censorship-essay#successfully ">diabetic retinopathy thesis</a> But we do more than just collect information. By synthesizing, analyzing and summarizing what’s out there, and adding new information when we can, we are a news engine that gives you a quick and valuable account of the issues of the day.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

Pleased to meet you <a href=" http://www.laughmom.com/essay-on-childhood-memory/#lose ">deforestation thesis</a> America&#8217;s biggest home lender, Wells Fargo Bank, is cutting 2,300 jobs in its mortgage division. This comes amid a drop in refinancing applications as interest rates rise. Earlier this year re-financings accounted for about 70 percent of all home loan applications, but that number has fallen in recent months.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

Best Site good looking <a href=" http://www.laughmom.com/essay-on-childhood-memory/#for ">7000 word essay</a> Ross Filby, a clinical co-ordinator for EEAST, said: &#8220;The clinical support desk means that ambulances are saved from attending approximately 1,000 inappropriate 999 calls, meaning that more ambulances are free to attend genuine emergencies. This will potentially improve the outcome for many seriously ill people.&#8221;



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:19

Did you go to university? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?expository-essay-cause-and-effect ">becoming an essayist</a> At the base of the building is the Gotham West Market, set to open this fall, with gourmet restaurants and food vendors including Blue Bottle Coffee and an outpost of The Cannibal, a popular Gramercy eatery.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

What's the exchange rate for euros? <a href=" http://www.jasonclarke.net/working-mothers-essays/#him ">who can do my tesol assignment</a> Kevin Pietersen will undergo treatment this week on a calf strain which has left him a major doubt for the third Test at Old Trafford. &ldquo;It is a concern. He has a slight strain of his calf,&rdquo; said Cook. &ldquo;We have great medical team who will work non-stop to get him ready. He is a world-class player who would leave a big hole but if he is not available it gives someone else a chance to step up and there are some very good players not playing in this squad.&rdquo;



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I've been cut off <a href=" http://levitraprofessionalindia.levitra.uno/#execute ">levitra professional india
</a> Others say they are excited about the developments, whichcould bring more clout to angels. Mark Suster, a partner atUpfront Ventures, wrote that syndicates would help venture bystreamlining and having one angel take the lead on a deal,instead of having dozens on equal footing.
<a href=" http://levitra10mgcomprimorodispersible.levitra.uno/ ">levitra 10 mg comprim orodispersible
</a> The department acknowledged that after Cove Point, its approvals had crossed the 6 bcf a day threshold that was considered the "low" export scenario in the economic study it commissioned to explore the economic impact of gas exports.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

How many would you like? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?best-essay-writing-service-rated#bargain ">animals research paper</a> That was a business decision, not one driven by technology or design, countered Frank Gillett, an analyst with Forrester Research who has been critical of Microsoft's decision to bar Office from tablets powered by iOS or Android.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Do you know the number for ? <a href=" http://blurrywomentakingcialisineuropeslump.buycialiseurope.eu/ ">blurry women taking cialis in europe slump
</a> "Policymakers have been so worried about trying to keep growth going, they've eased all the kind of stimulus levers but have done that at the expense of structural reforms," said Rob Subbaraman, chief Asia economist at Nomura in Singapore. "That's coming back to bite them.
<a href=" http://genericcialiseurope.buycialiseurope.eu/ ">generic cialis europe
</a> A comparison of the charges from the US and the UK laid against Tom Hayes, currently on trial in London over the Libor scandal, show how the US action makes no mention of the Wall Street banks he worked for. The UK charges cite his work at Citigroup and his alleged conspiring with JPMorgan.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Could you ask her to call me? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?winning-essays ">essay about educational and career goals</a> &#8220;I want to thank Jim for this opportunity to return to the Knicks in this important position,&#8221; Mills said. &#8220;It is an honor and a privilege to work for such a storied franchise and I look forward to doing whatever it takes to make the Knicks a successful franchise and a team that fans can be proud of, both now and in the future.&#8221;



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I'm sorry, she's <a href=" http://blurrywomentakingcialisineuropeslump.buycialiseurope.eu/ ">blurry women taking cialis in europe slump
</a> North Korean leader Kim Jong-un tests a mattress at the construction site of apartments for scientists, in a photo released by North Korea's Korean Central News Agency. All caption suggestions welcome.
<a href=" http://levitra20mgtab.levitra.uno/ ">levitra 20 mg tab
</a> Anthony Seldon, Master of Wellington College, said: &ldquo;Today sees a major rise in &lsquo;hard&rsquo; subjects taken &ndash; including maths and physics. Relentless grade inflation has been addressed at last.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Free medical insurance <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/purpose-of-writing-term-paper.pdf#instinct ">essay on harriet tubman</a> Nohl said Security Research Labs found mobile operators inmany countries whose phones were vulnerable, but declined toidentify them. He said mobile phone users in Africa could beamong the most vulnerable because banking is widely done viamobile payment systems with credentials stored on SIMs.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I've just graduated <a href=" http://propeciaprescriptiononline.propecia.pro/ ">propecia prescription online
</a> [S]ome analysts remain skeptical that the Fed and the Treasury would really lend their weight to the sort of aggressive measures some lawmakers are contemplating. The recent comments may be an attempt to gain some political benefit from looking tough on the banks. And the remarks may be aimed at reducing any momentum that the more draconian pieces of bank legislation are gaining in the Senate.
<a href=" http://venditalevitraorosolubile.levitra.uno/#greeting ">vendita levitra orosolubile
</a> LONDON, Sept 25 (Reuters) - Britain's top shares fell onWednesday, led down by Carnival after a profit warning triggereddowngrades, while Centrica and SSE fell after the oppositionLabour Party talked of an energy price freeze.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I've got a very weak signal <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/purpose-of-writing-term-paper.pdf ">i need help with homework</a> “They have two choices,” Martin said in a telephone interview. “They could put them out on the market and get their capital back. Or they can absorb those assets and push them over to their manager.”



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I've got a very weak signal <a href=" http://levitra20mgcomprim.levitra.uno/#rig ">levitra 20 mg comprim
</a> The report issued on Monday confirmed the nerve agent sarin was used in the August 21 attack but did not assign blame. Britain, France and the United States said it confirmed Syria's government was behind it rather than rebels.
<a href=" http://levitragenericofarmaciaitaliana.levitra.uno/ ">levitra generico farmacia italiana
</a> The commission started operations in August 2010 after numerous complaints about a police agency called the Bureau of Special Investigations that was then responsible for investigating alleged wrongdoing by officers. Over the years, allegations of citizens' rights abuses including excessive force and extrajudicial killings by security forces increased in the country of some 2.7 million people.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I read a lot <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/residency-application-personal-statement.pdf#tedious ">do my paper</a> The PKK took up arms against Turkey in 1984 with the aim of carving out a separate state in the southeast for the country's Kurds, which make up around 20 percent of the population but have long been denied basic political and cultural rights.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Good crew it's cool :) <a href=" http://safeplacetobuypropeciaonline.propecia.pro/#magician ">safe place to buy propecia online
</a> A ministry official, speaking on condition of anonymity,told Reuters Stavridis was dismissed for "ethical reasons" afterProto Thema reported on Saturday that he travelled last week onthe private plane of shipowner Dimitris Melissanidis, a majorshareholder of a Czech-Greek consortium which in May agreed tobuy a 33 percent stake in state gambling firm OPAP.
<a href=" http://propeciafinasteridemsd1mg.propecia.pro/ ">propecia finasteride msd 1mg
</a> The Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action is seeking a sweeping decision along the lines of the appeals court, arguing that Proposal 2 broadly deprives blacks, Latinos and other minorities of their rights. In an interview, Washington said his group was trying to reach audiences beyond the marble-columned courthouse.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I like watching TV <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?winning-essays#books ">rubric for research paper college</a> "We are outside of the road map, but not outside the political scene," Nour's deputy leader Bassam Zarqa told Al Jazeera. "If there are names for ministries that we oppose, we want our voice heard: 'This one's good, this one's not.'"



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I've got a full-time job <a href=" http://levitragenerika10mgrezeptfrei.levitra.uno/#context ">levitra generika 10mg rezeptfrei
</a> This is a type of cookie which is collected by Adobe Flash media player (it is also called a Local Shared Object) - a piece of software you may already have on your electronic device to help you watch online videos and listen to podcasts.
<a href=" http://levitraoriginale5mgprezzo.levitra.uno/#smart ">levitra originale 5 mg prezzo
</a> Reporters could also get into anonymous chat rooms set upfor commodities traders, who were never explicitly told thatjournalists could see their chats, according to the report fromconsulting firm Promontory Financial Group and law firm HoganLovells.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

I'd like a phonecard, please <a href=" http://www.jasonclarke.net/working-mothers-essays/ ">believe in god essay</a> Campaign records showed that among other donations from nonprofit organizations to the group, Midler's foundation had given $10,000 to Giffords' Americans for Responsible Solutions PAC, according to the Center for Public Integrity. Tax experts told the center that such donations from private foundations could be "very problematic."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Insufficient funds <a href=" http://blurrywomentakingcialisineuropeslump.buycialiseurope.eu/ ">blurry women taking cialis in europe slump
</a> Mr. Roff would have done better grounding his column in fact, not fiction. The last thing newspapers need to do is douse their broadsheets in ink full of partisan talking points. Instead, they must innovate the medium and provide readers with compelling personalized content that gets them to think about politics and become more informed voters.
<a href=" http://levitraoriginale5mgprezzo.levitra.uno/#sign ">levitra originale 5 mg prezzo
</a>  Planned Parenthood of West Texas has closed about a dozen health centers over the past 30 years, according to its website. Banschbach said changes in how the Midland center was run over the past two years hinted at possible problems.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Could you send me an application form? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?bibliography-apa-online ">essay about gun violence</a> "To get people to remember the day and time a show airs, it's really challenging," said Michelle Garry, senior vice president of multi-platform marketing for the Fox network. "If people miss the show during its live airing, we still want to give them an opportunity to sample it."



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Incorrect PIN <a href=" http://brandlevitracanada.levitra.uno/#attorney ">brand levitra canada
</a> SINGAPORE/WELLINGTON, Oct 14 (Reuters) - The dollar fell onMonday while the yen rose on safe-haven demand due to concernsthe United States may default on its debts as lawmakersnegotiate a deal to raise its borrowing facility ahead of adeadline this week.
<a href=" http://levitra20mgprices.levitra.uno/ ">levitra 20 mg prices
</a> Well, I think the costs go up because you really -- most of it is concentrated in the half year. So you'll have a full-year of spending. And I've said just a few minutes ago, fourth quarter will be higher than third. So -- but we'll start seeing revenues. So I would say, from a kind of a net loss perspective, we begin to moderate pretty quickly, and we see profitability in the latter part of 2014. So we're at the high point of kind of net investment this year, the cost we would expect to grow off of this year.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

Incorrect PIN <a href=" http://vivasportklub.pl/residency-application-personal-statement.pdf#affectionately ">term paper help</a> "We worked on holidays, such as Christmas, New Year's andThanksgiving, as others enjoyed their families, working to servethe citizens of Detroit and neighboring communities," Howardsaid. "I pray that you, your honor, will object to thisbankruptcy.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:31

good material thanks <a href=" http://genericcialiseurope.buycialiseurope.eu/ ">generic cialis europe
</a> ItВ paid a criminal fine of $101 million and a civil settlement of $385 million. The company deducted the payments, but the IRS claimed they were non-deductible penalties. The IRS said the onlyВ way Fresenius could deduct the payments would be if the settlement agreementВ expressly allowed it. Yet the government had refused to address taxes in the underlying agreement.
<a href=" http://cheapgenericpropeciauk.propecia.pro/ ">cheap generic propecia uk
</a> Nelson Cruz made it a three-run game with a solo blast in the seventh, a 412-foot shot to left-center off Nova that landed in the Yankees' bullpen. Nova finished the night allowing three runs on seven hits and three walks, striking out four in seven frames.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:36

I'm not sure <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?argumentative-essay-for-sale#ambition ">heading for research paper</a> Albert Buitenhuis weighs about 285 pounds, and the government deems the 50-year-old too much of a health risk. (It should know: New Zealand has the third highest rate of obesity in the world, behind the U.S. and Mexico, notes AFP.)



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:36

good material thanks <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?argumentative-essay-for-sale ">essay land pollution</a> "You look at people being required to live with their parents because they really can't afford an alternative. If we offer a believable better approach that leads them to say, 'Gee, this is a future I want,'" Gingrich said.



  ГѓГ®Г±ГІГј
Дата: 16.05.2016 00:36

What university do you go to? <a href=" http://iorarua.com/iorarua/index.php?college-narrative-essays#endure ">argumentative essay about smoking in public place</a> Forty-eight oil companies produced an average 2.495 millionbarrels of oil and natural gas equivalent per day (boepd) in themonth, 1.7 percent more than the same month a year earlier, ANPsaid in a statement. Output rose 1.1 percent from July.



Страницы:  «««    126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145 | 146 | 147 | 148 | 149 | 150    »»»
Писать от имени: Гость
Склонность: Нейтрал Хаос Истинный Хаос Истинный Хаос Тёмный   Гвардия Мироздателя Гвардия Мусорщика   Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный Истинный Тёмный   Белое братство Паладин поднебесья Таможенный паладин Паладин солнечной улыбки Паладин инквизитор Паладин огненной зари Паладин хранитель знаний Паладин неба Старший паладин неба Старший паладин неба Верховный паладин
  Паладин поднебесья Таможенный паладин Паладин солнечной улыбки Паладин инквизитор Паладин огненной зари Паладин хранитель знаний Паладин неба Старший паладин неба Старший паладин неба Верховный паладин
Текст: Жирный Наклон Подчёркнутый Цитата
Смайлы: БКашные | Палсайта | Дополнительно  :wink:




(C) Орден света, 2004